All I Believe Read online

  “Not by choice. My luggage got lost, so Nana went shopping for me. She also took my wallet by accident in the process of taking my only outfit to the cleaners, so I can’t buy anything else right now.”

  Remy grinned at that. “I think your grandmother is trying to pimp you out.”

  “You’re not wrong.”

  “If you haven’t resolved this by tonight, come by my house first and I’ll lend you a few things so you have something to wear to dinner.” Since he was thinner and shorter than me, I didn’t think that would help a lot, but anything had to be better than the sheer shorts and painted-on stretch t-shirt.

  “Thanks.”

  “So, how goes law school? You seemed to be pretty much hating it last time we spoke.”

  “I’m still hating it, more than ever.”

  “But you’re sticking with it?” He grabbed a lamp with a glass base and lifted it out of crawling baby range. When I nodded, he asked, “Why?”

  “Well, I have to do something, and just because law school sucks doesn’t mean I won’t enjoy being a lawyer.”

  Remy frowned a little, then executed a smooth pivot and plucked a ceramic figurine from an end table before the baby could grab it. “You feel you have something to prove, don’t you?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You were perfectly happy all those years you worked as an EMT, but after you caught your snobby ex cheating, you immediately applied to law school. Is it because he’s a doctor and you’re trying to prove you’re as good as he is?”

  Part of me wondered if there was something to that, but I said, “I just needed a fresh start. I left my job when I moved out of Los Angeles, so it was the perfect time to try a different direction.”

  “But it doesn’t seem to be a direction you enjoy.” Remy picked up the crawling baby, pointed him away from the big fireplace where he’d been headed, and put him down again. Remy, Junior didn’t seem to notice, and cheerfully propelled himself forward.

  “I know, but like I said, working as a lawyer and slogging through law school are two different things.”

  “I hope you’re right,” Remy said. “So, what else is going on with you? Have you been dating anyone?”

  “No. I’ve been too busy with school.”

  He gave me a knowing look and said, “So, maybe that’s the other benefit of law school. You can claim to be too busy to get involved with anyone again.”

  “You missed your calling,” I told him. “Clearly you and your theories would have done well in the field of psychology.”

  “The only reason I bring any of this up is because I like you, Nico, and it’s been hard watching you be so unhappy for the last couple years. You were so much fun when we were kids. I’ll never forget that summer I got to spend with you in California. But then…well, you became pretty quiet after your parents split up. And when you broke up with Erik…I don’t know. It kind of seemed like you lost your spark.”

  “Maybe I just grew up. I was twelve when you stayed with us that summer. It’s not like any of us can act like kids forever.”

  As if to totally disprove me, Jessie burst into the suite just then wearing a huge, colorful jester’s hat and carrying an armload of shopping bags. “Hi!” He called cheerfully as he deposited the bags in Nana’s bedroom. When he returned to the living room, I introduced him to my cousin, and the two shook hands. Jessie was still wearing the hat. It was red, blue and gold, and little golden bells hung from each of the six points.

  “Did you or Nana get my messages?” I asked him.

  “No, sorry. Our phones seem to be having trouble with international roaming,” he said, before turning his attention to RJ and saying in a high voice that made him sound like a cartoon character, “Hi there, baby! How are you, little dude?” Then he turned back to me and said in his normal voice, “What were the messages?”

  “My wallet was in the pants you guys took to the cleaners.”

  “Oh crap, sorry! I’ll go back right away and get it.”

  “Thanks. Where’s Nana?”

  “She ran into a childhood friend of hers, Rose something. They’re catching up at a café a couple blocks over. I told Nana I’d drop off our purchases and bring her a sun hat.” He visited with us for a couple minutes before retrieving a wide-brimmed woven hat from Nana’s room and leaving the suite again.

  Remy glanced at his watch and said, “I need to pick up my girls from their playdate. I’m looking forward to catching up some more at dinner tonight! Be sure to bring your appetite. Nonna’s cooking enough to feed the whole town.”

  After I promised once more that we’d all be there, Remy returned RJ to the carrier, slung the diaper bag over his shoulder, and took off with a cheerful, “A presto,” meaning see you soon.

  I ate a granola bar that had been in my backpack, then opened my laptop like a book and left it running on top of a towel, so the last of the lube would hopefully drain out. At least it hadn’t fried the inner workings. I looked around for something to do, but just couldn’t face the stack of law journals, so instead I turned my attention to the tiny, fluorescent Speedo. I really wanted to go for a swim, and suits like that weren’t uncommon in Europe, so maybe I wouldn’t totally stand out.

  I changed into the swimsuit and looked at myself in the full-length mirror. Good lord. Things like that were clearly not made for people with any sense of modesty. It covered what it needed to, but just barely. If I accidentally got an erection while wearing that thing outdoors, I’d be hauled straight to jail for public indecency.

  I pulled the sheer shorts on over it, pocketed my new room key, and tucked a towel around my waist for good measure before heading downstairs to the pool. It proved to be completely full of kids and families, so there was no way I’d be able to swim laps in it. Instead, I stepped out onto the sand and deposited my towel, clothes, and glasses on one of the lounge chairs lining the beach. I was glad that without my glasses, I couldn’t really see people’s reactions to my Speedo as I hurried to the water’s edge.

  The Ionian Sea was the same temperature as the air, maybe eighty degrees Fahrenheit. Since Viladembursa had been built on a sheltered bay, there weren’t many waves to contend with as I waded into the water. A few people splashed and played near the shore, so when the water reached my waist, I started swimming away from the beach. When I was a few hundred yards out, I changed my trajectory and began swimming parallel to the coastline.

  It felt incredibly good. I swam back and forth for at least an hour, working out the kinks in my back and shoulders from that long flight. Swimming had always been my favorite way to work out, and I pushed myself to keep going even when my muscles began to protest, just like I always did. I was pretty tired when I finally got out of the water.

  I’d thought I’d been using the hotel to orient myself while I’d been swimming, but as I stood on the beach, I realized I’d lost my bearings. I could have really used my prescription swim goggles, but of course they were in my lost luggage with everything else. Without them or my glasses, the hotel just looked like a blur, which I’d expected, but it blurred right into the buildings on either side of it as well. I tried to spot the row of chairs along the beach, but there wasn’t enough contrast between the white chairs and the sand.

  I closed my eyes and listened. There weren’t any people around me, but I could make out faint voices in the distance. I turned to my right and began to walk toward the voices, since there had been a fair number of people at the hotel. After a couple minutes, I spotted a tall figure approaching. The person was wearing black, so he was visible against the light background.

  I called out, “Mi scusi. Puoi indirizzare mi torna all'Hotel Conchiglia?”

  A familiar voice said, “I’ll do you one better than directing you back to the hotel. I’ll escort you.” When he got within about a foot of me, he came into focus. The gorgeous guy from earlier had traded his suit for a black t-shirt and shorts, and pushed a pair of sunglasses onto the top of his head as he smiled at
me.

  “Thanks. Do you make a habit of saving hapless tourists?”

  “Only the incredibly sexy, scantily clad ones. I didn’t think anything could top the red undies, but I have to say, this look is my new favorite.”

  “I don’t normally dress like this,” I said as we began walking down the beach. “At all. The airlines lost my luggage, so my grandmother went out and bought me some clothes this morning. They’re all I have, since she also misplaced my wallet and I can’t buy myself anything else until it’s returned.”

  “Your grandmother picked out what you’re wearing?”

  “Yeah. I think she’s trying to get me laid.”

  “It’s working,” he said, and an embarrassed bark of laughter slipped from me. “Is she the same person who hosed you down with anal lube at the airport?” The amusement in his voice was unmistakable.

  “Yup.”

  “She sounds like my kind of woman.”

  “There’s no one in all the world like Nana. Her heart’s in the right place, even if her methods are occasionally borderline horrifying.”

  After a few moments, my companion asked, “How far can you see without your glasses?”

  “Maybe a foot. Everything beyond that’s a blur. I was swimming and got disoriented when I returned to the beach.”

  “That’s what I figured. I was watching you as you were swimming. You stayed out so long that I was beginning to wonder if you’d ever return to dry land.”

  “Why were you watching me?”

  “Because I realized the current was slowly pushing you a little farther south with each lap, and I was concerned. I also saw the way you entered the water after you put your glasses down. You walked across the beach so cautiously that it was pretty obvious you really couldn’t see what was in front of you.”

  “That’s incredibly observant.”

  “I’m an observant kind of guy. Oops, look out.” He grabbed my upper arms and quickly spun me around.

  When we came to a stop, I looked up at him. The sun was just starting to set. It cast warm, bronze highlights in his slightly long black hair and made his olive skin look golden. He stared back at me for a long moment, and then I asked, “What was that move just then?”

  “Jellyfish. One had washed up on the beach. I don’t know if they can still sting you once they’re dead, but I didn’t want to take any chances.”

  “Thank you.”

  He kept looking in my eyes for another moment before asking, “What’s your name?”

  “Nico. What’s yours?”

  “Luca. Is that short for Nicolaus?”

  “Nicolo, actually. Is Luca short for anything?”

  “Luciano, but I don’t use my full name.”

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you officially, Luca.”

  “I should have introduced myself earlier, after the café incident. Please forgive my lack of manners.”

  “It’s okay. You were distracted by the pack of not entirely wild dogs.”

  “No I wasn’t. I was distracted by the beautiful guy in tiny, red briefs.”

  “Do you make a habit of calling strange men beautiful?” I asked, deflecting the compliment.

  “Definitely not. Only ones I’m hitting on.”

  I grinned at that. “What makes you assume I’m gay?”

  “The fact that you almost gave yourself whiplash by checking out my ass right before the dogs started swarming.”

  My eyes went wide and I said, “You couldn’t possibly have seen that! You never looked up from your phone!”

  “When I reached the door to the café, I saw your reflection in that big plate-glass window beside the entrance.”

  Busted! I murmured, “I’m usually not that blatant.”

  “Thanks for making an exception for me.” His tone was light, bordering on teasing.

  “Well, you are exceptional,” I said, then immediately felt stupid. I had no game. Zero. What was I doing trying to flirt with this man? I quickly changed the subject by asking, “Do you know what time it is?”

  He glanced at the silver watch on his wrist and said, “Just past seven.”

  “Crap, I’m late. Are we close to the hotel?”

  “We’re almost there. Do you maybe want to borrow my t-shirt?”

  “Why?”

  “Well, because your suit’s pretty revealing and there are a lot of people up ahead.”

  “I know it’s skimpy, but it’s not like Speedos are that uncommon in Europe.”

  “See-through ones are.”

  I looked down at myself, and even with my bad eyesight, I saw way too much of my junk through the now incredibly sheer lime green fabric. I immediately cupped my hands in front of my crotch and exclaimed, “Oh my God! What kind of swimsuit turns see-through when it gets wet?”

  “I think that’s actually underwear.”

  “Yes please to borrowing your t-shirt.” He took it off and handed it to me, and I put it on quickly. It was long enough to cover everything, but I kept the front pulled down to mid-thigh anyway, just to be sure.

  When we finally reached my stuff, I put on my glasses, pulled on the white shorts, and wrapped the towel around my waist, since sheer over sheer wasn’t exactly getting the job done. I also swapped my t-shirt for his, and as I handed his shirt back to him I said, “Thank you again for giving me a hand. I’m not normally this scattered. Or naked. Just so you know.” I stole a quick glance at his tight, muscular body as he pulled the shirt over his head.

  “Glad to help.” We returned to the hotel lobby side by side, and when we reached the elevators, he asked, “Will you join me for a drink?”

  “Oh man, that’s such an obvious pity date after all of this.”

  “No it isn’t!”

  “It is. I’d still take you up on it, but I have a family thing to go to. I’m already late.”

  He paused for a moment, studying me, then said, “Another time then. Take care of yourself, Nico. I’ll look for you tomorrow,” before walking away.

  I watched him as he crossed the lobby, headed for the front door. What a gorgeous guy. Nice, too. But my God, could all of that have been more embarrassing? Part of me wanted to call after him and invite him to have a nightcap with me after my family function, but I just couldn’t do it. I’d been a total and complete train wreck in front of him, twice. Despite his protests, he must have offered to have a drink with me because he felt sorry for me. I sighed quietly and pushed the button for the elevator.

  Chapter Three

  “Some of your cousins have to be gay, right?” Jessie asked as he and I leaned against a grand piano and sipped drinks in the corner of Nonna’s lavish living room. At least forty people filled the ground floor of the beautiful villa in the hills above Viladembursa, and I scanned the crowd and told him, “Statistically speaking, at least a couple have to be. I don’t know which ones, though. It doesn’t get talked about, not like it does in the American branch of my family.”

  He frowned and said, “Those aren’t very good odds. Do you think there’s a gay bar in town that we can hit later? I need bigger numbers if I’m going to make my dream of a summer fling with a hot Italian a reality.”

  “Not that I know of, but Rome will have plenty of gay nightclubs.”

  Remy’s sister Fiona headed right for me as soon as she arrived at the party. She was tall and curvy with long, black hair, and she giggled and said, “Buon Dio,” (good lord) before snapping a photo of me with her phone. I’d already gone through the full onslaught of a few dozen relatives when we first arrived, and all of them had to make a comment on my outfit.

  Nana and Jessie had done some more shopping for me that afternoon, and since I’d been running late, I didn’t have time to stop off at Remy’s and borrow some clothes. That meant my best option for the party had been a pair of tight, red leather pants, matching ankle boots, and a long-sleeved black shirt. The button-down would have been fine if it wasn’t tight, stretchy, shiny, and designed without the top four buttons that most s
hirts had, so I had no choice but to look like a 1970s gigolo. The outfit should have come with a stick-on mustache.

  Fiona gave me a hug and said in English, “Why are you taller than I remember you?” When I tilted my foot to show her the two-inch stacked heel on the boots, she started chuckling all over again.

  “None of this is my fault.” I told her about the lost luggage and wallet. It hadn’t been at the cleaners when Jessie went to retrieve it, so I’d had to cancel all my credit cards and request replacements.

  “So, your grandmother dressed you like a retro porn star,” she said with a delighted grin. “I love Nana. Where is she, anyway?”

  “In the kitchen arguing with her sister.”

  “Figures.”

  I introduced Fiona and Jessie, and told her, “He was no help with shopping. He actually let Nana buy this stuff.”

  “Of course I did,” he exclaimed. “You look hot! If I was six-one with that muscular bod, I’d be all over a pair of red leather pants.” He was actually a slender five-eight or so, and would have looked good in red leather. He was cute enough to make it look playful, instead of awkward and slutty.

  “But you know how I normally dress. Would it have killed you to toss a pair of khakis in with the porn star collection?”

  “Dude, we’re in Sicily. You don’t see khakis and oxford shirts in any of the boutiques. I don’t even know where you’d have to go for something like that,” he said. “Plus, I think it’s good for you to break out of your shell a little. It’s like you wear a uniform, it’s always the same thing.”

  “I like my uniform.”

  “Yeah, well, I support Nana’s efforts to push you out of your comfort zone,” he said.

  “Pushing me out of my comfort zone is one thing. Sending me out with a see-through bathing suit is another thing entirely.”