All I Believe Page 19

  “I hate that. He turned out to be married, right?”

  “No.”

  “Cheating on his boyfriend?”

  “No, that was my last relationship.”

  “Bummer. So, what did this one lie about?”

  I turned toward Zachary and took a good look at him in the light from a string of white bulbs illuminating the patio. He’d looked really emo when he first arrived at the party, but then when the wedding started coming together, he’d gone and changed and styled his dark hair differently, so he now looked…well, like me, kind of buttoned-down and preppy. It seemed he was a bit of a chameleon. “I can’t really talk about it,” I said.

  He raised an eyebrow as he took another drag from his cigarette. “Because you found out he’s James Bond and you don’t want to blow his cover?”

  “No.”

  “You don’t have to tell me,” he said, “but it seems like you need someone to talk to. I’ve been watching you mope around all night. You’re literally the one person who’s less comfortable at this party than I am, so I couldn’t help but notice. The good news is, I’ve been drinking a lot, so I probably won’t remember whatever you tell me anyway.”

  I grinned a little and said, “Okay, let me try to come up with an analogy.” My drunken brain was more than a little foggy, which probably explained why all I managed was: “Let’s say I’m Bruce Wayne’s son and I started dating the Joker’s son, only Joker, Junior never bothers to tell me who he is. I have to find out from someone else, after getting really attached to him. And he keeps that information from me even though he knows, absolutely knows for a fact, that I have serious trust issues and the one thing I need more than anything is honesty, above all else. So…yeah. That’s basically what happened.”

  “Ah.”

  “Did that actually make sense to you?”

  “In a way.”

  “Okay, good.”

  Zachary thought about it for a few moments, then said, “But the real problem here is that you fell really hard for the Joker’s son, right? If you hadn’t, you wouldn’t be so upset.”

  “Yeah, I did.”

  “So that omission of information, that’s a total deal-breaker?”

  “I can’t be with someone I don’t trust. That’s everything to me.”

  “Even though you’re totally miserable without him.”

  I said, “I miss him, all the time. There was so much that was great about him, and I even started to imagine building a future with him, which is huge given how much my last relationship hurt me. But even if I could find my way around that betrayal, there’s a bigger issue. His family and mine despise each other. They don’t want me anywhere near him, and mine would hardly welcome him with open arms.”

  “So, really it’s more the Capulets and Montagues than the Joker and Batman.”

  “That might possibly have been a better analogy.”

  “It’s pretty obvious why he didn’t tell you, all things considered.”

  “But I needed to know.”

  “If you’d known who he was from day one, would it have made a difference?” Zachary asked, dropping the butt of his cigarette into the empty beer bottle. “Would it have stopped you from falling for him?”

  “No. Nothing would have kept me from falling for Luca, so he should have just told me the truth. He didn’t though, so it’s all gone to hell now.”

  “Has it? I think, as long as you’re both still living and breathing, there’s always a chance to work it out.”

  “I really don’t see how.”

  “I hope you figure it out.” He held up his empty beer bottle and said, “I don’t know about you, but I have no interest in sobering up tonight. Let’s go back inside and drink all of my newlywed best friend’s liquor.”

  I turned back to the warehouse and said, “That most definitely sounds like a plan.”

  *****

  Since my designated driver ended up getting totally smashed, and Nana and I did too, the three of us spent the night at our friends’ warehouse. So did a few more of the couple’s friends and relatives. I slept on the floor and woke up feeling stiff and headachy. When I stumbled into the big, open kitchen, Chance greeted me with a cup of coffee and a bottle of ibuprofen. I accepted them with a thank you, then said, “Holy crap, you got married last night!”

  He flashed a radiant smile, his blue eyes crinkling at the corners. “It’s wild, isn’t it? Finn and I are going to the Justice of the Peace today to make it legal, but I’m so glad we got to share that with everyone.”

  Nana had performed the ceremony the night before, since she’d gotten some sort of online certificate that apparently ordained her. “Good idea,” I said.

  “Are you okay?” he asked. “I heard you stayed in Italy a couple extra weeks, but from the look of it, I don’t think you had a very relaxing vacation.”

  “I met a guy. He was amazing. Then it all went to hell. Now,” I pushed my glasses to the top of my head and scrubbed my hands over my face, “I’m just trying to figure out how to return to whatever life was like before I heard of Luca Caruso.”

  “Well, damn.”

  I dropped my glasses back into place. They were all smudgy, but I didn’t really care. “Classes start on Monday, maybe that’ll help. Or maybe it’ll kill me. It could go either way, really.”

  “If you ever need to talk,” he said, sweeping his dark brown hair out of his face, “you know I’m here, right?”

  “Thanks Chance, I appreciate that. I talked to Zachary a bit last night, he was a great listener.”

  “That’s good.”

  “I saw him carrying a big duffle bag last night, is he moving in?”

  My friend nodded. “His life’s in a bit of a tailspin right now. He doesn’t really tell me what’s going on, but he did finally take me up on my offer to stay here while he gets things sorted out. I think that’s a positive step.”

  “Sounds like it.”

  Chance jumped off the counter as his new husband descended the stairs. Their faces lit up, and they gravitated right into each other’s arms. “Hi hubby,” my friend said with a huge smile. He stretched up and kissed Finn, who looked at him adoringly as he said good morning. The two had come from wildly different backgrounds, but somehow they made the most perfect sense together.

  Jessie wandered into the kitchen, his blond hair spiky as a hedgehog, and said, “Aw, you’re so cute together! Why don’t you newlyweds have a seat and let the rest of us cook you breakfast?”

  “That’s a peach of an idea,” Nana said, coming into the kitchen. At some point the night before, she’d donned a huge Marie Antoinette wig with a little pirate ship hat. It had been given to her by one of the drag queens who’d shown up with her friend and hairdresser and helped throw together the last-minute ceremony. She was still wearing it, but it was the worse for wear, jutting precariously from the right side of her head, the ship partially sunk in a sea of frothy white curls. I had to wonder how the wig held on at all.

  “Come on boys,” she said to Jessie and me, “let’s get cooking.” I was more than happy to get caught up in my grandmother’s whirlwind and forget about my troubles, at least temporarily.

  Chapter Thirteen

  I was going to flunk out of law school. I decided that on my fourth day of the new semester. What little concentration I’d ever had was totally shot to hell. I’d sit in class and really try to pay attention, but in a matter of minutes, my thoughts would be consumed with Luca. I’d daydream about his green eyes, and the way they sparkled like sea glass when he was happy. I’d remember his touch, the taste of his lips, the warmth of his body when it was pressed to mine, and suddenly I was miles away from the classroom, curled up on a couch in Malta, reliving the best days of my life.

  I was still hurt and angry, but as time wore on, those emotions were overshadowed by the fact that I missed him desperately. I still hadn’t responded to his ten-times-a-day text messages, but my resolve was wearing down. The only thing preventing me fr
om answering at that point was that I had no idea what to say to him. I wasn’t ready to forgive and forget, and until I could do so, I didn’t know where that left us.

  On an overcast Thursday afternoon, I sat in the commons area in one of the main buildings on the Hastings campus, staring at my phone. Luca’s messages had become more frequent. I’d been hearing from him at least once an hour. They were still the same, asking me to contact him, saying he was sorry.

  A new message popped up, and I ran my thumb across the screen to read it. The text said: I can’t stand this. I can’t stand the fact that you’re mad at me and won’t let me apologize. I need to see you. I need to make you understand what you mean to me. That’s why I’m coming to San Francisco. I’m in New York right now waiting for my connecting flight, so I’ll be there in a few hours. Have dinner with me. Hear me out. Please, Nico.

  I drew in my breath and sat up, quickly fumbling with my phone. I dialed Luca’s number and he answered on the first ring with, “Nico!”

  “You can’t come here,” I blurted.

  “I have to. I know you’re still mad, but we need to sit down face to face and talk about this. I can’t live without you, Nico. I just can’t.”

  “Luca—”

  “I was an asshole for not telling you the truth from the outset, but don’t you see? I’ve always been so ashamed of my family legacy. How could I tell you I was the son of a monster? I would have eventually, but I wanted you to have a chance to know me first. Me, not Sal Natori’s son, not your enemy. I barely knew my father. I saw him maybe ten times over the course of my life. But I knew what he’d done to your family, and like I said, I was ashamed to be associated with him. That’s what kept me from telling you right away.”

  My voice rose as I said, “Luca, you’re not listening. You can’t come here. Your brother will go ballistic. He tracks your financial transactions. Did you know that? He started tracking mine, too, that’s how he found us in Malta.”

  “That son of a bitch! I asked him how he found me, but he wouldn’t answer. I thought maybe he’d hacked the GPS on my phone.”

  “He made it clear that he and the rest of your family won’t stand for you seeing a Dombruso.”

  Luca’s voice got low and dead serious as he asked, “Did he threaten you?”

  “It wasn’t so much a threat as a statement of fact. He told me some members of your family would put a bullet in my brain out of spite, just because I’m a Dombruso. I think he’s the biggest threat of all, though. He’s absolutely single-minded in his quest to keep you safe, and he considers my family and me a danger to you.”

  “I’m an adult. I’m almost thirty, for God’s sake! He doesn’t get to make these decisions for me!”

  “If you used a credit card to buy that plane ticket, then he already knows you’re coming to me and I’m sure he’s going to follow you here.”

  “I’m so stupid. I put you and your family in danger. I should have known he was watching my accounts, but I guess I always wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt.”

  “Can you call your brother and try to reason with him?”

  “I’ll try. In the meantime though, you need to get yourself somewhere safe. I’m so sorry Nicky. I really didn’t mean to bring all of this shit into your life.”

  “I can’t just run. My family’s here. I live with my eighty-year-old grandmother. What if Andreo comes to the house?”

  “I don’t think he’d harm your grandmother.”

  I said, “It’s the other way around. If the son of Sal Natori showed up on Nana’s doorstep, she might blow his brains out.”

  “I’m his son too, remember?” he said quietly.

  “Yeah, but you’re not a threat. He is, and if Nana sees that, she’ll do whatever it takes to keep her family safe. My grandmother always liked you, she wouldn’t want to hurt you.”

  “Only because she didn’t know who I was, any more than you did.”

  “Call your brother, Luca. Try to reason with him,” I said. “Then call me back and let me know what’s happening, okay?”

  “I will. I’m sorry about all of this, Nico.”

  “I know, but it’s not your fault that your brother’s a loose cannon.”

  I was pacing around the campus when he called back a few minutes later. “I couldn’t reach my brother. I left a message for him, and then I talked to a friend of the family named Theo,” he said. “Apparently Andreo’s already on a direct flight to San Francisco. He’s going to get there before me and he’s bringing some muscle, a couple thugs the family employs to do their dirty work. That’s a bad sign. My brother’s flight is landing about half an hour before mine does. I’m guessing he’s going to come directly to my gate to intercept me, since he never lets an opportunity to yell at me pass him by. But he might send the men he’s traveling with straight to your house.”

  I swore under my breath before asking, “How the hell am I supposed to deal with that?”

  “Don’t deal with it, run. Get out of the city and take your grandmother with you until I can talk to Andreo and try to calm him down.”

  “What about the rest of my family? Is your brother likely to stir up this feud, or is he just going to focus on me?”

  Luca said, “I really don’t know. Unlike me, he was raised by Sal Natori and taught that violence solves problems. I’ve heard stories of things he’s done, I don’t know how much is fact or fiction, but some of it would make your flesh crawl. If he rolls into town looking for trouble, it’s likely there will be bloodshed.”

  “I have to warn my family he’s coming,” I said.

  Luca was quiet for a moment before saying, “Yeah, okay. I know you need to keep them safe. But please don’t let them hurt my brother, Nico. If they come out guns blazing, this is going to end badly.”

  “They wouldn’t do that.”

  “My flight’s boarding, I have to go. I’ll be landing at SFO in just under six hours. Again, I’m so fucking sorry.”

  “I know. Call me as soon as you land.”

  “I will. Please take care of yourself, Nicky.”

  “Count on it.”

  I slung my backpack over my shoulder and headed toward the street so I could hail a cab, the afternoon’s classes completely forgotten. As I strode across campus, I tried to decide who in my family to reach out to. The official head of the clan for the last couple years had been my cousin Jerry, but for some reason, I’d never really felt I could trust him.

  For years before that, the family had been run by my cousin Dante. I had a lot of respect for him. I’d practically grown up with him and his three brothers after my parents got divorced.

  But there was a problem with going to him. He’d been obsessed with hunting down Sal Natori, ever since his parents and sister were murdered when Dante was seven. He’d been the one to track Natori down in Rome, and the one to end his life two years ago. While all of our family bore the scars of what Sal Natori had done to us, Dante’s scars ran the deepest, no doubt about it.

  Even so, I realized he was the one I had to go to. There was no better choice. I trusted Dante to do the right thing.

  *****

  I took a cab to the Marina district. My cousin and his husband owned a restaurant which was closed this time of day, so I let myself in the service entrance at the back of the building. I found Dante and his husband Charlie seated around a table near the brick pizza oven. They were going over that night’s menu with Trevor, a chef’s apprentice who also happened to be married to Dante’s brother Vincent. They all greeted me warmly, and Charlie called, “Hey, Nico. How’s it going?”

  “It’s been better,” I said as I came up to them and put my backpack on the dark wood tabletop. “I need to talk to you, Dante. You guys should hear this, too,” I told Charlie and Trevor.

  “Have a seat and tell me what’s wrong,” Dante said, his expression instantly all business.

  I perched on the edge of the fourth chair at the round table and said, “There’s trouble headed
this way. Sal Natori’s son, a man named Andreo, is on a flight to San Francisco as we speak. He’s coming for me, and I’m worried Nana or someone else might get caught in the crossfire. Maybe literally. He’ll be landing at SFO in about five hours.”

  Dante pushed his chair back and stood up abruptly, his dark eyes blazing. “I’ve heard stories about Andreo Natori, none of them good. Shit, I thought this fucking feud died with Sal Natori. What the hell stirred them up again?”

  “I did,” I admitted.

  Dante turned to me with a raised eyebrow. “How?”

  “When I was in Viladembursa, I started seeing a man named Luca Caruso. I found out later, much later, that his father was Sal Natori, though he was raised by his mother and his parents never married. Andreo didn’t want me to reveal that Sal Natori had another son, because he felt he was keeping Luca safe by hiding him from our family. But I know you, Dante. I know you’re not going to go after Luca just because of something totally beyond his control.”

  “Go on,” he said, his voice low.

  “Andreo is determined to keep his brother and me apart. He thinks it’s dangerous for Luca to be anywhere near our family. That was no problem at first, because I was so angry when I found out Luca had been keeping that huge secret from me that I left immediately and came home to San Francisco. Over the last several days, Luca’s been texting me and begging my forgiveness, but I haven’t been replying. Finally, Luca told me he was going to come here and speak to me in person. He’s on a flight to SFO right now. Andreo found out his brother is coming here and hopped on a more direct flight. I really don’t know what he’s planning to do when he gets here, but since he’s bringing along a couple thugs, I doubt he’s coming to chat.” I exhaled slowly and said, “I think that’s all of it.”

  “You need to get out of town,” Dante said, pulling his phone from the pocket of his black suit jacket and looking at the time, “and someone needs to head to Nana’s and try to think of some excuse to get her out of her house until we can deal with Andreo. If she finds out what’s going on, she’s going to try to get right in the heart of the action.” He turned to Trevor and said, “I don’t want to bring Jerry in, or else this whole thing’s going to spiral out of control. I’d like Vincent to back me up, though. Are you going to be okay with that?”